Blitzkrieg Deluxe » blitzkrieg deluxe

YELLOW STAR : I WANT TO SKATE FREE

blitzkrieg deluxe — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 13:26:14 +0000

With so much excitement over the past couple of weeks, including the bout and a derby wedding (<3 J-F & Megsy), I have had little time to actually sit down and think about the test. I think being occupied was a very good thing as the day before the test I did get a chance to sit down and think about it. That is when the panic set in. Cue teetering between massive amounts of self doubt mixed with fear and then total nonchalance. Total mind-cuss.

I had all these grand plans leading up to the test of practicing my push ups, sit ups and body bridges every night…this happened once >_>

To make matters worse at lunch time my ankle spazzed out again and become really sore as it has a few times over the last month (I will see someone soon I promise). Even after loading up on advil, panadol and some codeine it still was causing some issues when it came to get on skates.

I did my best to just stfu, suck it up and try not to soil myself. With all the nerves flying around the test came and went in what seemed like minutes but I swear it’s taken a year off my hearts life.

Now after misty meaner let me pinch my results sheet for a minute (<3) I can confirm my exact results were:

FITNESS

Push Ups = 5/5 20 on toes or 50 on knees. I chose to get it over with asap and did them on my toes.
Sit Ups = 5/5 50 Crunches. I ended up doing them all front on. I was going to switch to my sides but they didn’t seem so hard this time with all the nervous energy.
Body Bridge = 5/5 Held for 1 minute with lots of facial grimacing, arms shaking and concealed grunts.

ENDURANCE

Laps: 3/5 – 25 laps, The same as I got on the white star test. One more lap and I would have been bumped up to the next bracket. now I have my handy clicker counter hopefully I’ll be able to monitor any improvements from now on.

FALLS

1-point = 5/5 Woot
2-point = 4/5 Needs a quicker recovery. bit of a wobble.
4-point = 4/5 Needs a quicker recovery.

WEAVING

Weaving paceline = 4/5 Could be a little lower, swing out a little too far moving weaving to the outside and needs to skate to catch up.

STRENGTH

2 min whistle squats and 2 x 1 min squats = 3/5 Could be a bit lower with my shoulders back more to engage my core.

RECOVERY

Satans Matress for 2 mins = 3/5 a bit slow to recover. Just glad I stayed conscious to be honest.

GRAND TOTAL 3.72(3.7) out of 5 YELLOW STAR PASS! WOOTLES :D

With the test over and my ankle still hurting I decided to take some good advice and actually ice it while the others did some scrimmage.

At the end of the sessions the team drafts were announced. I am so very excited to say that I am now officially a CUTTHROAT CHARMER YARGH. I’m pretty sure I would have been happy either way as long as I passed. Both teams are full of awesome wenches but being a charmer certainly has the benefits of a black uniform and anyone who knows me knows I like my black. The best part is now I can scrimmage with contact so brace for Injury related blog posts ! At least now I know which team to buy merch for :)

The whole evening had a bittersweet end for me as my wifey still has another couple of weeks until she gets her star (which she WILL get) but it just wasn’t quite the same without her.

I went home a little dazed but ultimately happy. I didn’t sleep very at all. I just laid awake thinking about how fast everything seems to be going now after such a slow start almost a year ago. It’s been an exciting, frustrating and educational journey so far and I can’t wait to see where it takes me over the next 12 months.

<3 Blitz

SKATESPOTTING : CHOSE DERBY.

blitzkrieg deluxe — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 08:16:15 +0000

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It has been a mad mad couple of weeks.

TRAINING

Training has been awesome. Apart from lots of practice for the yellow star (read: endurance *groans*) we got to do our first scrimmage as white stars. IT WAS AMAZING ! it was “non contact” but still soooo much fun. just quietly…there was some contact but shhh :)

I got to be a Dolly for the night and I now have so much more respect for jammers then I did already, which was a boat load btw. I always thought jammers looked pretty casual when they were skating around after the pack after making it through. how wrong I was. That shit is TOUGH ! I fell over on my first jam but on my second I sneaked through the pack twice and then called it off. I had always wanted to make the calling off a jam hand signals legitimately so I can now sleep a little more soundly at night :)

If I could shave another 10 or so kgs off this booty of mine and improve my fitness and speed, I think I would love to try to be a jammer. I honestly see myself as more of an inside line blocker… but we’ll see ;)

Last week we also got treated to a skate maintenance lesson by my first SSRD crush Bonnie Crash. I now know exactly what all the parts of my skates are called and I think I may even be able to pull them apart and put them back together again if I had to. That’s IF I had to, there’s no way I’m just doing it for funsies. Bonnie also recently offered to let me borrow some narrow wheels, lowboys to be exact, and I’m really liking them. I feel a little quicker/more agile and much less likely to lock wheels with someone. I’m just going to try them on the Carrum surface first before I decide which hardness, sorry durometer, I’m going to go out and buy with my tax return :) I LOVE this time of year !

YELLOW STAR TEST

The yellow star is tommorow. I would love to make it through. It means I’ll get drafted to a team and get to update the snazzy white star to yellow on my helmet. Some days I’m confident and other days I’m not. The thing I am worried most about is Satan’s Mattress:

Lying down feet against the wall, whistle blows, get up as fast as you can and baseball slide into the opposite wall without slamming into it. Rinse and repeat for a few minutes.

The getting up and down quickly makes me feel a little dizzy after about a minute so I think I’ll just pace myself and concentrate on my baseball slide form.

The other nerve wrecking thing is weaving pace lines, I can do them but I know my form is not always up to scratch. Here’s hoping I can scrape by on my body bridges, push ups, sit ups and endurance.. wow I never thought I would be relying on push-ups to get me over the line.

BOUT FOR BLOOD : FIRST SSRD PUBLIC BOUT

Seriously amazing night. The venue was amazing, the crowd was massive and enthusiastic and the action was seriously nail biting. All the girls played awesomely and was so good to see them all out there for the first time. I was blocker penalty timing on the night and I had my hands pretty full some times. Bad Dollys ;). Lesson of the night : YELL LOUDER!

A big well done to the Cutthroat Charmers who took the game 112 to 100. I really thought the Dolly Rogers were going to steal victory towards the end. I can’t wait for next time in October to see a few more South Sea girls in the mix.

ROLLERAMA FUNDRAISER

As some of you have heard, one of the sweetest derby girls I know, Thunderhorse (aka Heather Dixon), was victim of a house fire last week which burninated pretty much everything she owned, including taking her 2 beloved kittys. To help raise funds to get her back on track there will be a fun skate night at Caribbean Rollerama on Thursday the 23rd of September. More details to come but save the date! A big love tap to everyone that has dug deep so far to help out heather and her hero dog Ceaser.

Well that is it for now. Hopefully I’ll have some positive news by tommorow night, but if I don’t make it this time there is always next time and the time after that and so on and so on. I will get there.

<3 blitz

WHITE STAR : THE FINAL SKATIER

blitzkrieg deluxe — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 09:27:49 +0000

These are the voyages…*cough* sorry, got a little carried away…

So white star test, the bane of my existence for 7 or so months, was finally upon us.

I was fine up until the morning at which point I became a bundle of nerves reminiscent of the exact situation I was in last year. So much nervous energy.. I couldn’t sleep in or sit still around the house. I just wanted to get it all over with.

We started out basically stretching and practicing everything that was going to be on the test to warm us all up. I have to admit I didn’t really push myself too hard at this point because a) I didn’t want to wear myself out and b) I didn’t want to hurt myself before the test had even started.

And then came the test *gasp*

Now from what I remember (which is probably not 100% accurate) my results went something like this :

ENDURANCE

Laps: 25 laps in 5 minutes = 3/5 – Increased fitness will help with number of laps. Last time I got 19.5 so at least I can actually see some progress there.
Cross over form: = 3/5 – appears a little unbalanced.
Derby Stance =3/5 – Need to get lower.

Stance and cross-overs suffered due to me being so tired. Increased fitness should in theory help me improve everything to do with endurance.

STOPS

T-stops = 4/5 – Possibly need to get a little lower.
Plow-stops = 4/5 – Shorter stopping distance would be good.

FALLS

1-point = 3/5 Needs a quicker recovery, be in better stance.
2-point = 3/5 Needs a quicker recovery
4-point = 4/5 Probably needs a quicker recovery.

JUMPS

Basic jump: 4/5 – Need to increase balance so I don’t seem as shaky when landing.

GRAND TOTAL 3.44(3.4) out of 5 WHITE STAR PASS! WOOTLES :D

While we were waiting for the results we played some tag games and practiced some whipping, lots of fun. There was a pretty good vibe going around. Everyone seemed so relieved the test was over.

Wifey had organized a dinner booking down the road for everyone after the test which was a great idea. It was really good to sit around with everyone from the coaches to other white star takers and completely stuff our faces, relax a bit and totally stink out all the other punters. Awesome.

So this means that just under a year of me buying my first pair of derby skates I am officially in a roller derby league. I’m not sure it will fully sink in until the first training session but I’m just going to relax for a little bit now… maybe… anyone for rollerama?? :D

The good news (besides the obvious) is that I don’t have to write a boot camp experience for the third time. From this point on everything is going to be pretty new to me. This means more challenges, probably more tears but hopefully a lot more progression towards perhaps, one day, being able to play roller derby in an official capacity.

I really hope that everyone that didn’t make it the first time goes back for the resit in a couple of weeks. I know how crappy it feels to not make it the first time. It sucks hard. Just quietly, I was pretty upset the first time, a lot more then I probably communicated to people. I felt completely defeated. Honestly though, I have no idea where I would be now if I had just given up the first time. Derby is not easy, it’s not ever going to be easy and if it was easy I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be all that interested. Stay with it girls. It won’t be the same without you.

See you soon <3

BOOTCAMP 4 : LIVE FREE OR SKATE HARD

blitzkrieg deluxe — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 08:48:25 +0000

Will I grow out of using blog titles based on movie sequels? nope and I’m not even sure that I want to.

So this week started well. I managed to scam some printing and binding resources from my place of employment to finally get a copy of the rules organized. I am yet to read them even though they have been officially sitting on my desk at home for a week. I even coloured in the front with pink biro rather then actually do any productive reading. At least I have the guys at work walking around the office making random ref singles… office favourite seems to be “grandslam” so maybe i’ll actually start learning from them.

Rollerama sessions were great as usual apart from me trying my best to do jump 180’s and stacking hard. You know the kind of stack i’m talking about. Your feet fly out forwards from under you and it feels like you’re floating in mid air for hours before you crash to earth butt first. It was pretty embarrassing on a night where there are derby veterans present. However I still went from person to person asking if they saw my uber fail and proudly announcing that I landed on my sidebum.

As an added bonus one of our “crew” won the nightly roll the dice game and I got to share in the spoils…in skittles form…I tasted the rainbow and it was delicious.

Then came boot camp week 4. Poor wifey hurt her bot bot and deemed herself too sore to participate. This meant spending almost 2 hours sitting around watching us noobs with only a bag of peas for company :(

A lot got crammed into this weeks sessions:

SATAN’S MATTRESS: A game/relay type thing where you skate towards a wall and as you get close move into a baseball slide,then flat onto your back while sliding towards the wall but not hitting it with your feet. then waiting for the whistle and getting up and doing it again as fast as you can. REALLY hard work.
WEAVING: Wide weaves and narrow weaves, very strange sensation and a lesson in weight distribution. I’m not very good at narrow weaves but I am better then I used to be.
JUMPS: Starting from jumping a line - to jumping a cup – to finally jumping a box. I never feel quite safe jumping so i’m hoping I will eventually get used to it. I did manage to jump a little box though so *squeals*

Apart from those new things there was heaps of activities recapping everything we have learned so far which was good. We also did some more transitions and sprinting endurance practice. I’m still critically unfit I think so the more of this stuff the better.

OMG HELMET WOOT! The highlight of my week was totally getting my new helmet back from J-F Tranquille. It’s been painted absolutely perfectly. I knew when I asked him initially if he could do a custom helmet for me I would be in good hands. He SOOO delivered! He took my love of Wolfinstein,skulls and Blitzkrieg and made something better then I would have ever imagined. Ok i’ll stop gushing now..but srsly… OMG OMG OMG lols. <3 J-F

So now the wait begins to actually wear it. I figure I will wait till after the white star. I still can't register the name for a while yet but passing the white star (laces crossed) will be enough validation for me!

Quick disclaimer: I’d like to clarify that even though my name and helmet is world war 2 inspired I am totally not a fascist nazi racist jerkface. kthanx.

So there’s no bootcamp this sunday the 13th, which is a bummer, but we’re off to Radalaide instead for the Great Southern Slam. A totally worthy compromise. Reports and badly taken pictures to follow..

BOOTCAMP 3 : THE SKATENING

blitzkrieg deluxe — Mon, 31 May 2010 12:49:24 +0000

So boot camp week 3. I can honestly say this is so much more fun this time around. Half way through i looked at the clock and realised there was only an hour to go and I actually felt sad. I wasn’t sure if we would learn anything new after last time but I was happily proven wrong.

Some of the extra stuff that wasn’t included last boot camp was:

Scissor skating: Practising putting one foot in line with the other and then swapping over. rinse and repeat. The boys looked pretty uncomfortable doing this one.. can’t imagine why.
Transitions: Stepping front to back while moving. While I had picked this up at a class earlier in the year I can’t imagine what I would have done had this been on the last boot camp six months ago. Hmm no wait… I can totally imagine… There would have been tears and maybe something extra in my shorts that wasn’t there earlier.
Baseball slides with quick get ups: Moving from a one knee fall onto your sidebum(is that even a word?!) to basically help you learn not to fall on your tail bone I’ve done that once..pretty sure if I did it again I would implode or something. So a very valuable skill for me to have. I had learnt this previously at a class but not quite the same. This time you use your core so you don’t fall back onto your elbows and you use a quick kick motion to swap your legs over and get up… wow i didn’t explain that very well. next time i’ll try a diagram.
Walking on toe stops for 2 laps: Pretty self explanatory. It hurt my tootsies…

We kinda did a game in the form of pushing and pulling a group around the track. I christened our group the “poo posse” much to the other girls dismay, but we rocked it YEAH ! I’m kinda of glad we didn’t get to play “musical cones” (thanks for the proper name harmin’ :D) because I nearly passed out by the end.

After bootcamp it was time for a post bootcamp bbq. It was delicious. It was really nice hanging with the girls ( and guys ) without being at a skating rink (although thats totally rad too). The best part however, was the discovery of a guide to outdoor skating circa 1970.

The black and white photos simply do not communicate the raw awesomeness of the book. The main guy, who no doubt picked up the skills in ‘Nam judging by his 1000 yard stare, had some spectacular and often unorthodox moves but hey, I won’t judge because I wasn’t there man.. I WASN’T THERE! I too hope one day to to able to jump as high as he…but maybe not reveal quite as much of my anatomy.

After chowing down and watching some xanadu, me and the wife headed home to our respective abodes and the night capped off with the duty of airing out my derby wife’s pads along side mine outside. It’s smelly business this derby caper but I wouldn’t change a thing.

Actually I totally would change the smelly part.

Really looking forward to next week.

SKATE HARD 2 : SKATE HARDER

blitzkrieg deluxe — Sun, 23 May 2010 12:13:47 +0000

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Big derby related weekend ahoy ! (more nautical references… I can’t help it)

The bout : Metal mayhem at puckhandlers. Dolls Au Go Go Versus Dead Ringer Rosies. It was a great bout with lots of strategy. I’m getting a better idea of the rules and penalties which makes it much more interesting to watch. Dolls won with an impressive margin but there were a lot of ring-ins on both sides due to injuries. Unfortunatly the next VRDL v VRDL bout will be a while off but next month it’s the great southern slam where the travel team will play (and own !) interstate teams over 2 days. It’s going to be an awesome trip.

The bouts half time show was erm…monkey inspired air guitar… An interesting performance but I chose to believe it could have been improved with the addition of poop throwing or a recreation of THIS

Highlight : The 3 D’s … Dragonforce, Dethklok and Dio. Best Metal Dj set ever \m/ I took some very shitty photos and videos that you can click on over on the left there.

And then came the second week of bootcamp.

While thanks to my derby wife yawning on the trip over which in turn made me yawn and subsequently feel tired, she more than make up for it with a little bomb of caffeine before we got skating. <3.

We all started out stretching but then came the dum duh DAH push-ups, sit ups and body bridges *horror movie scream* … I always knew this day would come… I was fairly woeful as I expected I would be. It may be time to actually start doing them in my own time without being forced to. nuts.

We recapped all the stuff from last week but then got to do some cool things I hadn’t done before.

180 degree single knee slides : Took a while to get my head around this one but I look forward to practising these more. Many times I ended up sprawled on my side. It was good to learn something new but these were not quite as fun as the 180 double knee slides we attempted for funsies at ‘rama with hilarious results.
pushing a plow-stopping wench : 2 laps each. Hard work if your doing the pushing and sore ankles if you are the pushee.

The remaining part of the session was games related. Skills relay in groups of 6, a weird “stop and go” game where you had to stop (t’s and plows) within 3 seconds while racing to the opposite wall and my favourite.. “the game when you race to capture cones by doing 4 point falls faster then your opponents”. catchy name.

The games were awesome. Everyone seemed to be having fun and it was pretty hilarious watching the competitive spirit come out.

So things to do before next week: more situps and push-ups (guh), more squats and more 180 slides. Looking forward to week 3 already.

In other news: I also decided on my next tattoo. Well that is IF I get into SSRD and IF no one takes my name before the 3 months waiting period. The second if seems slightly more unlikely.. but you never know.. suffice to say that if it does get taken at least my new arch nemesis will have a rad name.

HERE WE GO AGAIN : IDERBY 2.0

blitzkrieg deluxe — Sun, 16 May 2010 11:02:05 +0000

So pretty much exactly 6 months since my first boot camp experience with VRDL comes my second with SSRD. This time it was very different.

Last time I barely knew anyone at all except for Bec, who I had seen at rollerama a couple of times and even then we had idle friendly banter at best.

This time there was a small squad of rollerama regulars who I have come to know and love, as well as Bec who has since become my derby wife !

Last time I was sick with nerves and could barely sleep the night before because I was so worried I was going to embarrass myself with my lack of skill.

This time I was so excited I could barely sleep the night before. I knew the last 6 months of practising the same old skills on a weekly basis meant I was not going to be as hopeless as last time…or did it ???…yes it did.

Last time I was getting frustrated with my mind and body for not cooperating, getting stressed out that I was holding people up, pissing off the coaches due to weakness and sweating my proverbial balls off in 35 plus degrees.

This time I was only getting frustrated with my mouth guard for being lame but I was still probably pissing off the coaches, this time due to laughing too much instead of QQing about passing out. I was still sweating it up albeit in a more comfortable 20 degree heat.

Last time my pads and gear were all new and uncomfortable like.

This time everything fits a little better, I’m so used to wearing them that it feels wrong to skate without them. This time however…the gear PONGS !

Last time I could not skate more than 19.5 laps in five minutes.

This time i could skate 22 ^_^

The skills we need to learn are the same as last time. We need to be able to do the following to pass our white star to be invited to join South Sea Roller Derby.

Toe stops and plow stops
One knee falls, two knee falls, 4 point falls
Jumps
Skate 20+ laps of the track in 5 minutes with good form (bend those knees!) and cross overs

All things considered I believe I am much more prepared mentally and physically for boot camp and derby. I know how to do everything on the list and even though there is room for improvement on everything I’m pretty sure I’ll be happy whatever happens.

Basically I am having a boat load more fun this time around (OMG I’m already making nautical references !). Being relaxed, being in the most awesome company and knowing how to do more than skate around in circles sure does have its advantages.

Bring on week two !

In other news : the blog has a new skin! I think green is my favourite colour at the moment. Can you tell? A big thanx to misty meaner for letting me steal her photos from sunday.

ROLLER DERBY : SERIOUS BUSINESS

blitzkrieg deluxe — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 00:53:46 +0000

so slight change of plans…

after much deliberation with my wifey it looks like we are going to try and make South Sea Roller Derby our new home. naturally is all dependent on my ability to pass the white star ( i think i can, i think i can toot toot).

so firstly the immediate advantages for heading over to ssrd (for me) are:

the bootcamp is coming up sooner then the vrdl (yep i’m totally impatient..but it’s been a year of waiting already come on !)
the league is brand spanking new so there’s the opportunity to grow with them from the start rather then squeeze into a league of awesome vets. (read : less stress, more funs)
the competition to get a spot is a little less, well i am assuming this is the case, i’ve heard whispers the vrdl has over 400 people this time signed up for fresh meat… thats like double last times amount, which was already heaps high !
perhaps most importantly i get to use the name “blitzkrieg deluxe” – vrdl has a lovely skater called rosa deluxe and i didn’t want to pick a name so close to someone else so YAY !
I’ll get to skate with some lovely girls i have met at rollerama that are already in ssrd or intend to join on the next intake like us.
some of the training locations are closer to where i live (eastern suburbs 4 lyfe)

It’s actually a pretty hard decision really and my little heart is still a little torn, i love the VRDL and it’s been my goal for the past year to join them. I’m not the type of person who would join a league and then leave again for another..unless i was forced to due to living arrangements. Basically once I choose (read: am allowed in) a league that has to be it for me.

I still want to be involved though so i will continue to volunteer for the VRDL, the biggest bummer is not being able to train with the amazing people i’ve already met from VRDL, including the last round of freshmeat. But i’m sure maybe sometime down the track i’ll get to get my arse handed to me by some of them ^_^.

Now the wait begins again, The SSRD info sesh is on Tuesday night just over a week away and hopefully a boot camp is not too long after. Then it’s training 3 times a week (again that’s assuming I pass, but i’m pretty sure i have the whitestar test skills down…maybe o_O )

So thats the new goal, get into SSRD. Which means it’s time for me to bring out ye olde boot camp blogging experience again, lets hope this is that last time i have to boot camp it up. For anyone who is interested in checking out SSRD you can have a looksie here. They are also running a roller disco for fund raising on sunday may 2nd.

In other news: after returning from the states last week I can still skate!

see you guys in a couple of weeks xox

THEY SEE ME ROLLIN

blitzkrieg deluxe — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 11:05:08 +0000

so after an 8 week break from skating here i am, back on the wheels. It’s been 2 weeks since my first sesh back with the girls at rollerama. i was not so quietly shitting myself but felt comfortable as the girls pretty much hadn’t skated since the white star test either.

I was pretty happy with the fact that it all came back within the first 15 mins. cross overs, t-stops, plow stops all still doable. i couldn’t wait to start the derby lite training classes on the Thursday.

Thursday rolled around and my body was in for a rude shock. 8 weeks and no exercise to BAM 2 and a half hours of full on skating and manoeuvres. we covered everything we had learnt in the boot camp in one lesson.. madness.. as well as additional baseball slide stop which are pretty fun. As i limped off the floor already sore and covered from head to toe in derby juice (sweat lol) i knew i was already in for a painful few days… i was so right.

The next Thursday my groin was still playing up so i couldn’t do falls but we learnt a new and pretty scary move that i still have a massive amount of work to do on:

the transition : skating forward turn your skates around one at a time so you are facing the other way and stop using your toe stops… eeek. i fail so hard at this but it’s all practise and muscle memory. there was a few variations on this involving jumping but i dared not try them.. not considering the amount of stacks i had already accumulated that night.

so the aim for the moment is to skate casually once a week with the girls (claire and new derby wife bec) and then train on thursday’s in the intermediate class. once I’m a little fitter i will try and fit in another sesh during the week and do some derby recommended workouts which i’ll post here if i have any success with. Also will be attempting to do the 1000 steps weekly as well.

In other news it appears my first choice derby name has been snatched up by an american girl so i have to come up with something different. at the moment i’m tossing around blitzkrieg banshee but i have another few floating around if that doesn’t work.

In my break time i was asked to restyle/update the VRDL wordpress theme which was a bit of fun. I also put my name down for volunteer duties so i will hopefully get to help out at the next bout in march. check the link for more details.

so that’s it for now. the dream is still alive. i think about the sport all the time so i think that’s a pretty good indication that it’s something I’m going to stick with. I’m just waiting for my next paycheck to come in so i can splurge on some new wheels and gaskets.